Upper left is the start of the day. Upper right is a ruler on the top block of my retaining wall planter…taken about half an hour ago. Aaaaaand the snow is still falling.
I’m a silver lining kind of person. Generally. But this much snow in mid April makes me want to push over old ladies and kick three-legged dogs.
And speaking of dogs, Martha is the only one around here who thinks a foot of wet, heavy snow is terrific. Once she found her soccer ball, that is. No, you stupid dog, I do not want to kick the ball for you.
The Governor turned 12 today. Finally. Most of the time a birthday approaches, I think, “Why…he CAN’T be xxx already!” With Wally, I’ve been under the impression he’s been 12 for years. Must be that quick wit and sarcastic mouth. Wonder what side of the family he gets it from. (Looking at you, Aunt Marilyn…)
Generally I don’t like to mess around with the Tried and True, but I think we have come up with a much more fun version of the old game: Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Our version is Rock, Firewood, Poop.
Every winter when we plow the driveway, a bunch of rocks from in front of the house end up in the yard. Most of these are scattered along the edge of the grass where the plow deposits them.
When all her toys are buried in the snow, Martha goes to the barn and grabs a chunk of firewood in hopes that someone will play tug-of-war or fetch with her. And when she’s tired of lugging it around, she drops it randomly in the yard somewhere.
Same Random Martha Distribution system applies to the poop.
I haven’t worked out all the rules to the new game. I’m pretty certain Rock beats Firewood because it’s easier to pick up out of the yard and is mostly along the edge of the driveway. Firewood is all over and has the added Splinter difficulty if you’re not wearing gloves. Poop loses every time.
The best part about this game is I get to play it with the boys, and I always win.
A beautiful day to play outside. The snow finally melted off the sandpile, so George and Martha decided to play a bit of King of the Castle.
George has never aspired to be a gentleman of any sort…so he pushed the girl off and crowned himself the winner.
Some friends of ours posted a picture on Facebook of them sitting on a beach in the Bahamas. All you can see is their feet, their coconut shell drinks, and the ocean beyond.
So Dave and I had to one up them.
I recently ordered some sheets from LL Bean. I’ve ordered sheets from them before and always been happy. I’m not much for slip-n-slide in bed (I want my husband to stay put when I reach for him), so I look for low thread count percale. Reminds me of the feel of laundry dried outside. Crisp and starchy.
I found the sheets on the Bean website and ignored a few naysayers who described the sheets as “scratchy” and “uncomfortable.” We all know the complainers are usually the most vocal. In this case, these reviewers were also the most accurate.
I washed the sheets and put them on the bed. Sleeping on them was unbearable. I had to put on long sleeves and long pajama pants to get through the night. My husband didn’t seem to have as much trouble, and I thought my hide was as tough as his, but apparently not.
By the end of the week, I was able to revert back to short pajamas, but that could be the result of sleeping on top a week’s worth of dust mites and dead skin cells.
Today I washed the sheets again (using an EPA frowned upon amount of Downey). They still feel a bit rough, but perhaps not quite as bad as before.
As one who always looks for the silver lining…I have to say that if you are a fan of exfoliating, your loofa/pumice consumption will drop through the floor if you buy these sheets.
Today’s 46 degree weather was good for everyone. I was able to start scraping down to the asphalt in the driveway, and the melting snow revealed one of many tennis balls Martha had lost in the yard.
I threw the tennis ball for Martha for quite a while, and when I realized that this game would never end, I threw it a deep snowbank where, to her great amazement, it disappeared. She has no future as a search and rescue dog.
However, as she was hunting for the lost ball, she found a different ball! She brought it to me and dropped it and stared at it hoping I would pick up the game again. Only a real cretin would say no. So I threw the new ball a couple dozen times until I could no longer throw (or shovel).
Sadly, the new ball also went the way of its predecessor and we will have to wait for some more warm weather to play Endless Fetch again.
If Marcus had opposable thumbs (or any thumb at all), this is what his selfie would look like.
I am frequently told by my sons that Martha is “such a good girl.” So banking on these solid references, I decided not to shut Martha in the mudroom when I ran some errands. I came home to find a load of bread on the rug. Closer inspection showed a big hole in the bag. I went back into the kitchen to look at the counter top where, just this morning, TWO loaves of bread and a chocolate chip muffin had been. It was spotless. No doubt she used a Clorox wipe after she stole the baked goods.
I found the other, completely empty, bread bag in front of the sofa. No sign whatsoever of the muffin.
When confronted, she had the grace to look a little sheepish, although I’m pretty certain she blames me for not shutting her away from temptation because look what happens.
We went out to dinner last night with my parents. Before the food arrived, my dad hauled out his phone and announced, “I know how to selfie!”
He showed me a picture he took of himself - it was pretty cute. I asked him to text it to me so I could put it up here. We got distracted and he forgot, so I sent him a message on our ride home reminding him to send it. He wrote back, “I’ll take another. This one shows nose hairs. Dad.”
This morning he emailed me this. Looks nothing like him. Send me the nose hairs.